The Compartmentalizer

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"If you follow a universal principle, it positively impacts all areas of your life. Universal principles don't compartmentalize." -Steve Pavlina   Year after year, I hear wives agonize over the choices their husbands made. “What was he thinking?” they’ll cry, “and how could he do a thing like that if he loved me?” Continue Reading

When War Isn’t Hell

Weary Soldier

"If you have no temptations it is because the devils are your friends, your leaders, and your shepherds. And by allowing you to pass your poor life tranquilly, to the end of your days, they will drag you down into the depths." -St. Gregory Continue Reading

The Cruelest Lie

arbeit macht frei

It hung over the entrance to Auschwitz, a large metal sign handmade by prisoners, offering a last shred of false hope to the doomed: “Arbeit macht frei” (“work makes you free”). Some have argued it was placed there to deceive inmates into thinking hard work would earn them a release, while others argue the saying was a common slogan extolling the virtue of labor. Either way, it was damnably false, a sick joke and the cruelest of lies. Because, of course, work made no one free in Auschwitz. You were there to be worked to death, or put to death. Continue Reading

The Joy of Awful

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“A person overtly expresses distress, but it is covertly gratified at the prospect of the satisfaction they can wring from their misfortune.” – Dr. Eric Berne, Games People Play Even as a child, dynamics between people interested me. I was ten years old when Eric Berne’s classic Games People Play was published, and since I helped myself regularly to my parent’s reading material, I dove into the book, intrigued by the title. I understood about half of it, but the 50% my boy brain could glean really stuck with me, and darned if the years Continue Reading

My Little Christmas Sinner

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My youngest son probably isn't crazy about it when I tell stories about his childhood. At the ripe age of 17 I guess he's entitled to object, although I often tell him he's free to write awful things about me once he's grown, as long as they're interesting and salacious. Anyway, I try not to tell "Jeremy stories" unless they're ones which I'm sure won't needlessly embarrass him and which also have a good point. Continue Reading

How Do I Know He’s Getting Better? Five Things to Look for When a Man Says He’s Repentant

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Wives often ask my wife and I how they can really know their husband, who’s committed some form of sexual sin, is getting better. While there’s no acid test, there are some things I believe a woman can and should expect when her man says, “I was wrong; I’ve repented of it.” Continue Reading

My Worst Side

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We usually know what we can do, but temptation shows us who we are. -Thomas a Kempis           If I were to describe everything I’m tempted to do, I’d lose all credibility. Not that anyone thinks I’m above temptation, of course. But the nature of the temptations that hit me at times is so base, so ugly and contrary to everything I stand for, that I’m sure many people who once took me seriously would, if they knew the thoughts I sometimes get, write me off, and I wouldn’t  blame them. Things that are unclean, violent, narcissistic or Continue Reading

Dust As I Am

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“For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.” -Psalms 103:14   If a man falls into sexual sin he can repent and move on. If he falls into despair, he may never get up. So despair scares me in ways sexual sins don’t. That doesn’t negate the seriousness of porn use, adultery, perversions or other moral failures, since the misuse of the body is described in scripture as something especially damaging. (I Corinthians 6:18) And, lest we forget, both the first martyrdom in the New Testament (John the Baptist’s beheading Continue Reading

Hard Truth: The Wound that Heals

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When a racer’s vehicle needs repair, he doesn’t junk it.  He pulls it over for a pit stop, and he certainly doesn’t do that because he’s finished with the vehicle. Just the opposite – he does it because he’s not finished with it! It’s a valuable car, and he has purposes in mind for it.  After all, the pit stop isn’t a junk yard, but a place for repair and rebuilding. Continue Reading

Beware the Weasel

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I’m convinced, though I’ve got no solid evidence, that there’s a creature in every man that sabotages his intentions and integrity. I call it the Weasel, and I find him lurking in any number of situations where guys have to ‘man up’ to their own deeds. He first showed up in the garden, when Adam knew he’d sinned. Remember his first response? Run and hide, which is a both a traditional and stupid approach to failure. Yet there Adam is, cowering in the bushes instead of dealing with the problem. Continue Reading